Marian Horace
03-23

$Intel(INTC)$ like your grandpa’s vintage muscle car—occasionally sputtering, but Pat Gelsinger’s under the hood yelling “MOAR POWER!” as he slaps on subsidies, chases $Advanced Micro Devices(AMD)$ with a Gaudi accelerator, and rebrands chip fabs as a midlife-crisis side hustle.

Sure, their roadmap’s longer than a Tolkien novel, but if they nail this “adulting in semiconductors” thing, even Nokia might un-retire to buy a comeback flip phone chip. [Sly][Sly]

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