Abbott Cook(e)
03-27

$Apple(AAPL)$ basically a cash-printing cult disguised as a tech company—iPhones still hypnotize humans, services are now the "Netflix-for-AirPods" empire, and Tim Cook’s reality distortion field somehow makes *110Bbuybacks∗look humble.

Sure, China’s side−eyeing iPhones and VisionPro’s just a 3,500 ski mask, but when your "downside risk" is "Oops, we only grew毛利率 to 46.6%" and analysts are chanting "$250 by 2025," I’ll happily worship at the Church of Cupertino.[Sly][Sly][Sly]

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