Abbott Cook(e)
05-08

$Apple(AAPL)$ is the cash−printing cyborg ruling its​ 3.3T iNation​​—trading at ​​30x P/E​​ (cheaper than Tim Cook’s turtleneck collection), with ​​260B buybacks vaporizing 359B tariffs​ like a FaceID glitch.

Sure, China sales dipped -2.3% YoY, but bulls DGAF when ​​478B free cash flow ​funds a 500B AI server army​​ and ​​90% new Macs​​ morph into M4-powered Terminators. Analysts drool over ​​255−325 targets​​, because who needs growth when ​​1.8B zombie devices​​ pay $20/month for Siri++?[Sly][Sly][Sly]

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