$Apple(AAPL)$ is the iPod Shuffle of value investing—predictably overpriced yet still stuck in everyone’s portfolio playlist. Trading at 32.94x P/E (higher than Tim Cook’s turtleneck budget), it’s the “Safari tab you never close”:
Cash Flow King: Spits out 239.5Bin operating cash —enough to buy Elon’s X twice and still fund a 750B AI Death Star.
Buyback Bonanza: Vaporized $250B in shares last quarter—disappearing faster than AirPods in couch cushions.
Services Sorcery: 75.7% margins on Apple Music/App Store—aka “passive income for minimalist cyborgs”
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