βAiyoh machan, wall wall wall... market now all scared CEO got scandal, got affair, stock crash overnight right?
βDon't worry! Muthu Prata Shop open early today to give you 100% Zero-Affair Safe Stock Portfolio:
β1. AMD (Dr. Lisa Su)
Female CEO! Married to a hardcore gamer husband who spends whole day playing video games at home. Zero chance of affair, 100% focused on beating Nvidia!
β2. OpenAI (Sam Altman)
Sam is happily married to his husband Oliver! Zero chance of female secretary drama. Stock safe, relationship safe! π¬
Pending IPO
β3. Anthropic (Dario Amodei)
Dario survived testicular cancer at Stanford, left with only 1 testicle (orchiectomy). Half the horsepower, 100% focus on AI safety! Cannot afford extra side-line activities! β½
Pending IPO
βMarket bloodbath because of Jensen scandal, but Muthu tell you: buy the safe ones, flip the prata, sit back and collect money! π
βNot financial advice ah, later lose money don't come and ask for free Prata Telur! π₯π
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